1. Since one of your first acts as Governor was to offer the Alaska state airplane on eBay, if elected do you intend to sell Air Force Two? Would you also consider selling furniture from the vice presidential residence on eBay?

2. You have been photographed wearing a very large flag pin with a gold flag pole. Do you believe it is unpatriotic for candidates to wear the flag pin without the pole?

3. Do you believe you look more like Tina Fey ("30 Rock") or Megan Mullally ("Will and Grace")?

4. If you ever decide to visit Iraq, will you consider changing your pronunciation from EYE-rack to something more familiar to those living there?

5. If elected, would you be willing to instruct Vice President Cheney about how to use a shotgun safely?

6. How do you spell potato?

7. For the talent competition in the Miss Alaska Pageant you played the flute. Does this mean you will fight Republican efforts in Washington to cut funding for the arts?

8. As Mayor of Wasilla you attempted to fire the librarian because you were unhappy about some of the books in the town library. Would you recommend that the Wasilla library ban "The Obama Nation"?

9. When your mother-in-law attempted to break the glass ceiling in Wasilla, you refused to endorse her for mayor. What is it that makes you uniquely qualified to break such ceilings? Do you believe women should break any ceilings other than those made of glass?

10. Upon reflection, do you believe Sen. McCain should have delayed the announcement of your candidacy until "Saturday Night Live" resumed production?

© Peter Funt. This column first appeared in The Monterey Herald.